Play With The Prose II — Challenge #7: Rock Concert

Round seven of head-to-head challenge with Fiction 59 (59-word stories) takes place before, during, or after a rock concert. What? What?! YOU’LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP!

“Alright class, it’s time to look at your Inukshuk dioramas. Justin, yours is first – can you tell us about it?”

The shy fourth grader stood up. “Mrs. Hornette, it’s a rock concert. And these guys on stage are the Rolling Stones.”

“Well, it’s an excellent diorama, Justin, but I’m giving you a week of detention for those bad puns.”

Will I ever make it to .500? RESULTS

In this round my story was submission #1 in the match-up — the judges’ comments:
MATTHEW: Ugh. I have to say, neither of these stories worked for me. First of all, the pun wasn’t that successful, since Inuksuit don’t roll. And the second story didn’t really feel like there was any driving emotion behind it. Not even opportunistic greed, or scheming. I don’t think you did yourself any favors by starting with the mouth-wipe and ending with the announcement of the paternity suit: the main character feels loathsome, and not in interesting ways. (There’s also the fact that Coldplay is one word, not two.) However, the edge does go to #2 because #1 wasn’t even tangentially related to a concert event. WINNER: #2

Novak – Oh you kidders. These are both funny. #1 makes me proud to have been that kid. #2 has a fantastic twist, but that last sentence comes off a bit awkward. It’s my “Close Call” of the week, but I gotta go with the one after my own heart… #1 wins.

ANDY: Minus 1 point for misspelling Coldplay. Just unforgivable (not really). Both went for the funny here, and I have to say, #1 really nailed it for me. The dialogue put me right there in the setting, and the language was perfect. It didn’t hurt that the joke was great, too. Congrats, #1.

WINNER: David Larson

This week went well, but I foresee an impending crisis…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.