Play With The Prose II — Challenge #3: Love Story

Round three of head-to-head challenge with Fiction 59 (59 word stories) was all about love, man. Write a love story. Well, okay.

“The End.” Closing the book and getting up from his bedside chair, Hal gently kissed his daughter’s forehead. “It’s time to go — I’ll tell Mom you love her. See you tomorrow.”

Leaving the coma ward, Hal reminded himself he needed to stop by the florist on the way to the cemetery; Sunday will be the four year anniversary.

So, 1-2, or 0-3? RESULTS

My story was submission #1 in the head-to-head — the judges’ comments:
MATTHEW: Two stunners, right off the bat. Each of these uses an economy of language to deliver a very real, very resonant emotional sense to them. It’s a tough call, but I have a favorite. Even though the very first sentence doesn’t seem to fit the tone of the rest of the story, #1 is simply luscious and very sensual. WINNER: #1

NOVAK – I love the subtext of #1. “Stolen from his neighbor’s tree”… Fanfreakingtastic. It’s hard to tip your hand too early in 59 words, but I felt like #2 did it. Until it didn’t, and there was another reveal. Ultimately, the subtext in #1 needed a little more “text”, and #2’s double-take worked for me, so it gets my nod.

ANDY – Oooh, boy. Here we go. Starting this challenge off with a good fight, aren’t we? Both are very impactful in their own ways, and this is going to be a hard one to call. #2 has the right emotional impact. The language and subject matter of #1 are just too compelling. I’m going with #1.

WINNER: Christina Pepper

  • Thanks to my bro Big Al for the story idea, although the one he pitched would have been a challenge at 200 words.

Congratulations, Christina. Here’s your orange!

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