Play With The Prose II — Challenge #2: Private Journal Entry

Round two of head-to-head challenge with Fiction 59 (59 word stories), and this time against Spookymilk himself! Not to be daunted, I totally played off the challenge directions: to write a private journal or diary entry. Well, I can do that!

The attendant looked up as the exterior door opened and a soldier schlepped in, snapping off a sloppy salute. “I’ve got the post commander’s WSJ, sir.”

With obvious disapproval, the attendant straightened the private’s tie, brushed away doughnut crumbs, took the paper from under the private’s arm, smoothed and refolded it, and handed it back. “Knock first, then enter.”

So how did I do? RESULTS

My submission was submission #1 in the head-to-head — the judges’ comments:
MATTHEW: Story #1: Yeah, I get it. Wall Street Journal. That trombonist is going to be very winded at the end of this season, I can tell already. #2 gave me a nice chill, though, so I don’t feel any remorse in awarding it the win here. WINNER: #2

NOVAK – #1 – Private? Check. Entry? Check. Journal? Check. Well played sir or madam, well played. #2, I love the concept. Somehow – and I’m going to blame the 59 words here – it misses just a bit of the impact I expected it to have. Still, there’s enough there, and a high-enough level of execution, that it’s enough to win the challenge. I still want to encourage the kind of wit we see in entry #1 though.

ANDY: Didn’t you just break the rules, #1? I hate that. But in another way, it makes my job easier. #2 wins by default. But I enjoyed it a lot anyway, #2. I’m intrigued, and I’m thinking you won anyway.

WINNER: Kelly Wells

  • Sorry, Andy, it was pretty cagey, but it did followed the directions.
  • I’m pleased to see I have one of the judges in my back pocket now. Thanks, Philosofer 😉

Congrats, Spooks! Now, I need to come up with something I love to turn in for Sunday’s challenge.

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2 responses to “Play With The Prose II — Challenge #2: Private Journal Entry

  1. I’m guessing you write a story about Davis Love III this week

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