Can I build on the strong showing of the last Play with the Prose submission? Well, let’s find out! The eleventh challenge is to write a story in which the main character is blind, in 300 words or fewer.
|I thought I could imagine a cloud, or something
Neck craned back so that the muscles hurt
No more than a cotton puff escaped from a medicine chest
And I can’t see the sun today.
Waves crash like a large, languid metronome
Breeze and heat play a silent tug-of-war
A cotton ball cloud blows steadily towards the horizon
I picture my plot of sand among fields of bikini beauties
Digging deep below the coarse surface, I find China is a cool, damp place
I still can’t see the sun today
Went for the unorthodox with this one — how did it fare? RESULTS
The judges’ comments:
K: I have railed on many entries that attempted poetry in this game, but this sure ain’t gonna be one of them. This has undeniable emotion and achieves its goal in a way that so many others in this site’s history have failed to do. The imagery is smart, the theme is catchy and even tosses in a Charles Atlas gag that doesn’t rip the reader out of the dramatic setting. GOLD
P: The unexpected continues. Damned if I don’t really like the poetry to this. The mental imagery lets me in on the poet’s world, and it’s beautiful in a sad sort of way the whole way through. BRONZE
- I was 2/3 into an uninspired space combat story (think the troop landing in Aliens 2) and wasn’t sure where/how to end it, when Spooky’s reminder email hinted that he was expecting fairly similar stories. That was just the spur I needed to shift direction.
- I’ve always wanted to try some free verse poetry, and I used “[In Just]” by e.e. cummings, and more specifically the song “This is How Men Cry” by Marc Jordan.
Next challenge, we’ll see who the new leader is…