Spookymilk Play With The Prose — Challenge #2: Imprisoned

This writing challenge comes right on the heels of the first challenge, and now we see if I can build off my first big week.  The challenge is to write a story that takes place in some sort of prison (200 word maximum).  Here’s what I ended up with:

Day 122 of solitary confinement: incredibly bored. I can’t believe all of this is for calling the warden a jerk face. My cell is no bigger than the hall closet back home. And I noticed that someone forgot to change the bare bulb on the ceiling with a fluorescent one. Now and then I see movement through the narrow slats, er, bars on the door, and I’ve taken every opportunity to bad mouth the warden when I see him out there.

The food here sucks. I miss all the badass guys in my block, and can’t wait to get out of solitary. I’ve used some of my time here to fashion a nifty shiv out of a clothes hanger, and I can’t wait to demonstrate it to the warden. I once saw one of the guys…

“Jeff, you’re watching my Serenity DVD, aren’t you? I can HEAR it! Let me out of here now! DAD! CAN YOU UNLOCK THE CLOSET? HELLO?!”

RESULTS

The judges’ comments:
K: I saw where it was going, but I still enjoyed going. The prose didn’t quite pop like some others and it won’t be one that sticks with me, but I always appreciate a change of pace from the depravity in a week like this. BRONZE

P: Serenity! Also ‘home as prison’ motif! The idea of a kid shanking a family member with a clothes hanger is absurd, which sort of works in this one’s favor, assuming this is all just some imagined prison fantasy-type thing. I also like the parts where the narrator breaks character, just like my friends and I would when we’d do this type of stuff as kids. It’s fairly light, but fun. BRONZE

A couple bronze medals; well, okay! It dropped me a spot in the standings, but I’m not upset…because I don’t have time to be — the next challenge is already percolating inside my cranium. Time to get writing!

  • I considered several different cases where the “prison” wasn’t actually a prison, and this one had the most promise.
  • There had to be a shiv in the story somewhere. By making it from a clothes hanger, it additionally hinted at the actual location of the story (along with the door slats).
  • The closet has a lock on it?? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time a home builder did something funky like that.

Time to get my superhero cape out of the closet for this Friday.

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