Spookymilk Survivor X — Challenge #8: Grab Bag (Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Season)

This week’s Spookymilk Survivor challenge: grab bag!  Spooky chose several “Create a Challenge” submissions and each player on a team had to choose a different one of them.

Even though my “Siskle & Ebert” challenge was one of the chosen few, I decided to take on “Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Season” instead…because I’m lazy, and it seemed easier to me.

This particular challenge was to present a story where the bulk of the focus is on trivial fluff, to the point that vital information is virtually ignored. The heart of the challenge instructions was specifically regarding news reports, but I mulled this around until I came up with a different direction to take it:

Heretic: Hell’s Maw (episode 2) walkthrough by 2 FLY 4WiFi, continued…

The Catacombs

You have now reached the fifth level. Go forward to the ledge and follow the wall to the left until you pass the second (unlocked) door. Enter it.

In this dank room is the first appearance of a Disciple of D’Sparil. One of the most impressive of enemies in Heretic, the levitating disciple is resplendent in his dark gray robe with blood red collar and gold-trimmed hood and sleeves. While no visage can be seen within the darkness of his hood, trust me, he’s in there. The graphical resolution limits what can be deciphered from the dark wizard’s ornate vestments, but some have conjectured that the top portion depicts an upside down trident and the lower portion runic lettering spelling out “spawn,” or “follower,” or even “hungry.” To me, the first symbol definitely depicts a tortured skull.

One should rightly fear the crushing wave of magic missiles these pupils of D’Sparil summon from between their upraised hands, but the creepiness level is intensified by their whispered incantations echoing from the damp stone walls. The phrases they utter are actually backwards recordings of “Destroy the Heretic” and “Succumb to us, Heretic,” but it is quite easy to imagine their Latin conjurations attempting to call up the very evilest of the denizens of Hell’s lowest levels.

Turn around and exit — this room is unnecessary for the completion of the level. Turn left on the ledge and move on to… (continued)

Yep, a game walkthough. I was always a fan of the early id Software FPS and followers — you know, Doom, Heretic, Quake, Duke Nukem, Serious Sam — and after playing through a game, I’d use someone’s walkthrough to see if I might have missed something. Walkthroughs are known for their brevity and directness, so spending a couple paragraphs on trivial aspects of one of a game’s enemies is totally out of place. I did really like the Disciples of D’Sparil and their whispery chanting, so this was my little nod to Heretic.

RESULTS, about what I expected. Sadly, more non-submitters, including a SPOILER ALERT! teammate. *sigh*

K: I laughed my ass off. This is a completely unexpected way of attacking this challenge, and the hero worship the narrator has going on would have amused me for several more pages. Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get funnier, “this room is unnecessary.” I wasn’t even expecting a great button to this, but there it is. 5

DK: I see what this is trying to do, but I’m not sure it follows the parameters of the challenge quite enough. I like the creativity enough that I’m not going to punish it like I would punish, say, writing a whole challenge in Engrish. 3

Special thanks to Eric Idle, the king of pithy newscasting, for being my inspiration and for instilling “resplendent” into my vocabulary.

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3 responses to “Spookymilk Survivor X — Challenge #8: Grab Bag (Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Season)

  1. After revisiting my wording on this one, yeah, this is as large a sidestep of the rules as I’ve ever rewarded. Well, meh. Make me laugh and I’ll always give you the benefit of the doubt. And bless the non-submitters, for they make it so all anyone has to do is show up. Yay!

    • Spookymilk,

      Are you doing an autograph signing somewhere in Phoenix? If you are ever in the Gilbert vicinity, I will trade a cold one of your choice for a John Henry. That way I could say, “I knew him when he was just a regular guy.”

      Bro of Rhu

  2. I found this to be decent (but not really following the rules) until the “this room is unnecessary” line at the end. It wraps everything up (including the challenge parameters) into a perfect bow. I may have given it a 5 as well.

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