Spookymilk Survivor — Challenge #3: Half The Conversation

Team SPOILER ALERT! met tragedy this week when one of our members had a death in the family, and understandably he decided to concede the game.  Looking forward to seeing you back in Spookymilk Survivor XI, Jake — my prayers are with you and your family.

After last week’s team challenge, we were back to being solo again; the challenge: write the other half of a conversation.

The “A:” portion of the conversation was provided…

A quiet buzz on the com unit gets Sgt. Wyrzhevski’s attention. His men are relaxing within the front entrance of an abandoned Parisian hostel. He picks up the pack’s handset.

A: You missed a call.

“Cpl. Angler, my patrol has been under sporadic fire all the night — sorry if we can’t accommodate your communication schedule! We’re allowed a couple minutes to take a crap instead of answering HQ immediately, right?”

A: Yeah. There’s no reason not to.

“Well, unless you’re constipated, I guess. Har har.”

Shouting over his shoulder: “Jackson – come here!”

On the handset: “Hey Angler, you were there – tell Jackson here that waitress last Thursday night didn’t say she loved him in French – that’s all he’s been saying since that night.”

Hands handset to Pvt. Jackson.

A: No. She never did. Neither did I, for that matter.

Wyrzhevski grabs the handset from a puzzled Jackson.

“Heard that? Now shut up about it!”

Speaking again into the handset: “I hope HQ has something up its sleeve besides these constant street patrols. Something that makes sense, that is — I don’t want to be in another major debacle like the last offensive.”

A: At the Fall Festival?

“The general can call it what he wants; here in the field we refer to it as Operation Cluster F…”

Bullets ricochet off the sidewalk just outside.

To the soldier nearest the entrance: “DAMN IT! Torrence, where’s that sniper fire coming from?! You and Watkins flank right and see if you can get a fix!”

Two soldiers carefully exit out the side doorway.

Back to the handset: “Angler, good thing that morning convoy through here was aborted, ‘cause this area’s still hot. Wouldn’t have wanted to have our guys on this route today.”

A: Yeah, that would have been a disaster.

“If the Resistance was more dependable, we wouldn’t still have these sniper nests. The frogs have been scarce since that fight broke out a couple weeks ago that night when Sgt. Flatly was doing his Cross-Eyed Führer act.”

A: It wasn’t personal. They don’t see things the same way you do.

“Yeah, well I don’t plan on sticking around to discuss it with them; I’m anxious to cross into ‘The Fatherland’ and start kicking kraut hiney on their home turf.”

A: You’re not the only one.

“You think we have long to wait?”

A: Absolutely not.

The two soldiers reenter the building, one signaling “three” with his right hand.

“Torrence and Watkins are back – looks like we’ve got us a building with some unwanted tenants.”

A: So what are you going to do about it?

“How’s about I tell you on our Oh-Nine-Hundred call? Talk to you then, Angler – Wyrzhevski out.”

Not much to say about this one. After reading “You missed a call.” I got it in my head that this was spoken on the headset of an Army field phone, and after kicking it around a while, I ended up setting it in WWII Paris. Thanks to Bro SS for the read-through sanity check.

The judges’ comments from the results.:
K: I like the story, but the format really wrecks it with “A” remaining in the state in which I wrote it, but the rest reading as prose. I couldn’t immerse myself in it as a result. 2

DK: I’ll take this one solidly as it flows pretty well and the action is interesting. 4

Regardless of the scoring, since we had a non-submitter, the results didn’t entirely matter here. Looks like SPOILER ALERT! has another avenge week in store.

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