Spookymilk Survivor Challenge #9: Six-Word Evaluations

We are now down to just two teams on the ninth week of Spookymilk’s WGOM writer’s challenge, and this just happened to be another team challenge. The Winner Group took it head-on. The challenge? Give a six-word evaluation for each of the following:

  1. Noah’s Ark
  2. The Bubonic Plague
  3. The first time you had sex
  4. Pompeii
  5. Being in the womb
  6. Charles II of Spain
  7. Don Corleone
  8. Music City Miracle
  9. Jack the Ripper
  10. Shawn Michaels kicking Marty Jannetty through the Barber Shop window
  11. Larry the Cable Guy
  12. Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
  13. Ned Flanders
  14. Peter Cook as The Impressive Clergyman in The Princess Bride
  15. The Decision, starring LeBron James
  16. The guy who opens the fan mail delivered to a porn star
  17. Cockfighting
  18. Christians vs. Lions
  19. Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet

Sadly, a second place finish (results), means someone on The Winner Group walks the plank. We took only 8 of the 19 points. These are our winning team evaluations that were mine:

3. The first time you had sex
sometime in the near future, hopefully

Tried to go the unexpected route with this one.

9. Jack the Ripper
I see you’ve met my mailman.

We had some real issues trying to get something that we liked for this one. After stepping back and trying to take it a different direction, this one caught on pretty well. And no, my mail delivery person does NOT shred our mail.

18. Christians vs. Lions
First-year team still beats Detroit

Apparently a new NFL team, unbelieveably named “Christians”, can still beat the Detroit Lions. I like one of my other answer better, actually: Bale and Slater bet against Detroit

The following were also my answers, but were not picked by the judges:

1. Noah’s Ark
Indiana Jones: “Oh CRAP, wrong one!”

After waffling on this one a bit, I started to take off on “ark” by first blaming a bad screenplay by George Lucas, but it was easier to just focus on Indy directly.

5. Being in the womb
Rhotacistic announcement of Arvid Being’s arrival

Eric B.B. brought up the term “rhotocism” for a later one, but I thought it worked well here for “room” instead of “womb”.

7. Don Corleone
lead guitarist of Kings of Corleone

I’m not a big mob movie fan, but since the Kings of Leon have been in the news here in St. Louis, I picked up the “leon” in “Corleone” and made that correlation.

12. Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Iz takes on Oz, big-time

Being a soundtrack fan, of course I knew of “Iz” version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, and Iz and Oz needed to both be included together, as did “big” if you’ve ever seen pictures of the late, great singer.

14. Peter Cook as The Impressive Clergyman in The Princess Bride
Nope. Michael Palin as Caesar, FTW

Sure, Peter Cook was a bit funny speaking with a lisp, but he can’t touch Palin’s Caesar in The Life of Brian. “Stwike him, Centuwian, vewy woughly!”

19. Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet
worst in role? Surprise! Ben Affleck

Yes, Ben Affleck’s character was somehow given the role of Mercutio in Shakespeare in Love.

I’m not too upset with our answers, overall. I’m not looking forward to losing a teammate, though.


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