The instructions for the eighth week of Spookymilk’s WGOM writer’s challenge: write an unexpected warning label on a product of your choosing. State what the object with the warning label is, and limit the warning to 100 words or less.
This time around The Winner Group was not the winner group, but more importantly we were also not the loser group — results. So far we have all learned that it is unwise to use the name Nick Punto in vain.
Here’s what I came up with this week:
| GB Leighton EP CD of “Twins Territory” |
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WARNING: This recording has been found to contain backward masking of Chicago White Sox propaganda, including Ken “Hawk” Harrelson repeating “He gone.”, the home run call from 2008 Game 163, and portions of A.J. Pierzynski interviews – LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK.
(plus, it sucks) |
This was one of my two initial Warning Label ideas. Thanks to Andrew for the “listen at your own risk” nudge. That was just the suggestion to make this worth tackling.
I was torn on whether to include the last line; it’s a little less “legit” but, doggone it, it just needed saying!
My other initial idea was for a stats website (baseball-reference, for example) to have a warning label suggesting that it was not wise to ignore the stats contained within when doling out multi-year contracts to low-K starting pitchers still under team control — a not-so-veiled jab at Bill Smith and the Nick Blackburn contract.
Bonus! Here is a 59-Word Story submission, under the topic “Failure”…
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The special two-person 10-K challenge had gone neck-and-neck for the entire race, which was unusual for Karl, the gold medalist from the past two Olympics. Still, he was pleased as he leaned into the tape at the finish line.
Karl visibly winced, though, when Geoffrey, the boy from Make-A-Wish, stumbled across the line a close second. |
"é rayhahn, rayhahn" 
Solid Fiction59 there. You get a 4 from me.