Play With The Prose II — Challenge #12: No English

Round twelve of head-to-head challenges with Fiction 59 (59-word stories) posed the challenge of writing about someone who could not speak English. Can do:

“Hey! Which way is the courthouse?”

Pedro looked up and saw the suited man, but Carson answered, “Pedro doesn’t speak English. Courthouse is three blocks that way.”

“Stupid spic!” the suit uttered as he walked away.

“He understands it though,” Carson mumbled, giving Pedro the universal sign for “jerk off”, to which Pedro signed back, “big time jerk off.”

  • I intentionally chose a character who it would be believed didn’t speak English to draw away from the idea that he couldn’t speak at all.
  • It’s too easy picking on the suits, isn’t it?

More of the same? RESULTS

Mine was submission #2 this time around — the judges’ comments:
MATTHEW: I’m feelin’ ya, Pedro. Stupid privileged suit and his subtle, vulgar racism. It’s a nifty little story, but oh man. Story 2, you had the misfortune of being paired against Story 1, which is clever in the right ways. Not just a gimmick, a nice little piece of tidy science fiction. Well done. WINNER: #1

ANDY: Very clever, #2. A great concept and it’s executed pretty well. However… INSTANT WIN for #1. Don’t know if this was done for my benefit, as I’ve already admitted my computer-nerdness, but I totally dig it. And yes, I speak ASCII very well, thank you.

Novak – There’s just far too many typos for me to consider #1 seriously, but I love what they’re going for here. Seriously though, no typos, I know… I wondered if I’d be having to use translators a lot. Didn’t anticipate this one. #2 is a solid exchange – very realistic, and I like the approach on difference between speaking/hearing. I wish there were a little more at stake in the story though. Ultimately, though solid, #2 can’t compete with #1’s big risk taking. #1 wins.

WINNER: Erik Dikken

Erik kicked butt; time for a new opponent…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s